CHALLENGES: you didn’t get the promotion, your salary increase was too low, your bonus was less than expected, you didn’t get the job offer, the deal didn’t close
REACTIONS: anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, loss of confidence, disengagement
GOALS: resilience, grit, motivation, confidence, goal oriented behavior
TIPS: Isolate the source of your anger. Let’s say you get a crappy bonus. You’re not angry about the bonus – you’re angry with the way the bonus made you feel. The crap bonus made you feel unappreciated and insignificant, so you get pissed at the boss. Maybe you were counting on the bonus to make you feel a little bit better about yourself. Whatever the case, you’re going to stay angry until whatever emotion underlying your anger is treated.
RESEARCH: Anger can be used to mask negative emotions like fear, disappointment and sadness (Rothenberg, 1971). It’s easier on our ego to be angry than it is to feel disrespected, embarrassed or pressured (Gordon, 1970).